I will.

Will you be I will be HIS body for HIS child. HIS 147 MILLION children.

Dreams.

Picture from {in}courage.com

I wanted to be a teacher.
I wanted to be married at 21.
I wanted to have four kids and adopt one from china.
I wanted to live in a big house.
I wanted to make lots of money.
I wanted to be the mom that had the perfectly dressed kids and the adorable birthday parties.
I wanted to be someone little girls dreamed to be.
I wanted to live the American lifestyle.

I now want to be a mother to the motherless.
I want to raise kids that are not my own.
I now want to live in an orphanage.
I want to depend on God for every dollar.
I STILL want to be someone little girls can look up to.
I want to live the Peruvian dream.
I now want God to take me where love is NEEDED.

I didn't change my dreams but HE did.

When I started praying that the Lord would use me I noticed that my dreams started changing. I started daydreaming about working with orphans. I would lay awake at night and think about holding children that needed love.

You see, I am NO different then the average 21 year old. I just prayed a prayer that has turned my world upside down. I allowed God to give me a love for the broken.

I have even layed in bed some nights and thought about the things I will never have. What I will "miss out on" being on the mission field. But then I think of heaven and the 147 MILLION orphans that I want to bring with me. 

My neighbor.

I don't want to go to bed hungry.

I don't want to beg for money.

I don't want to drink dirty water.

I don't want my child to grow up alone.

I don't want to have to sell myself to live.

I don't want to make less then two dollars a day.

I don't want to live a hopeless nightmare then die to a never ending nightmare.

Mark 12:31
..Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself..


The person in the nice house beside of me is MY neighbor.


The woman pregnant by rape a town over is MY neighbor.


The dying man in Africa is MY neighbor.


The fatherless child in Peru is MY neighbor.


The millions around the world are MY neighbors.


So why are MY neighbors hungry, lonely, scared, and dying from preventable disease?

Am I not living out the Bible?

Am I not loving EVERY SINGLE ONE of MY NEIGHBORS? Am I just picking the ones that don't need as much help?


The question that makes me stay up at night is this...
What if I get to heaven and I meet the beggar I passed on the street and he says why didn't you stop and help me...

       

                   My new Peruvian life:

                                           My new life of studying!....

Writing questions on my hand so I can talk to people!

Eight Years Ago.

Eight years ago today God blessed my family with a bundle of joy we didn't know we needed.

A little boy named Taylor.

Taylor has taught me how to love others and put their needs before mine.
Taylor has taught me how to pray BIG.
Taylor has taught me what answered prayers look like.

Taylor has taught me how to be a mother.


GOD through Taylor took a teenager all about herself and turned her into a love others mothering adult.

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR MATTHEW CLEMMER!

Tay-Tay always remember that I love you from Peru to our house and back! BUT Jesus loves you EVEN more!!!
I cant wait to see you and have our own birthday party!! LOVE YOU!!

                                                                                                          
The many times me and Taylor talked about Peru he was always unsure about it and that made me unsure.. But one day he looked at me and said "Maisie I want you to stay here because I will miss you, BUT I want you to go to Peru because I know you are going to help other kids.."

God showed me in that moment that Taylor understood the need for me to go try to save other children. And though I am missing his birthday for the first time... WE have ALL eternity to celebrate his life!

147 MILLION.

147 MILLION ORPHANS.
147 MILLION ORPHANS.
 147 MILLION ORPHANS.
 147 MILLION ORPHANS.
 147 MILLION ORPHANS.


No matter how I write it....
The number is the same..

No matter what I say...
They will still be orphans..

"You haven't been called"...
This is why the 147 MILLION will still be orphans.

I cannot do it on my own!.
I CANNOT save them all!.
I need HELP!.

Have you prayed about being "called"?
Have you truly prayed?

I prayed an almost faithless prayer for a year..
I prayed that God would send me..
That if He wanted me to move then to move me..

SO pray..
Not just one prayer..
But an everyday prayer that He would use you..

Pray that the 147 MILLION ORPHANS won't always be orphans.

I didn't serve HIM today.

Would you give her money?

Would you feed her and her child?

Today was trash day in Arequipa.


Today as I waited on the combi I watched as a man went through bags of trash.


He was searching.


He pulled out an old dirty purple (girl) shirt and tried it on.


He pulled out plastic bottles.


He pulled out a small bag of rice and his face lit up.


I stood on the other side of the street just watching.


Not willing to help him.


I had sixty soles in my bag.


But it was for me.


I have come to Peru to save the hungry, unwanted, dying children.

But what if this man was their father?

What if he was looking for food for his hungry child?

What if I just allowed a child to go to bed hungry?

"...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."  Matthews 25:40

I have walked by many beggars here in Peru.

So I have walked by many of "the least of these"
and CHOSE not to serve Jesus.

 The bible says to give.

Give by faith.

Give and serve Jesus face to face.

My Scars.

Can you see my scars?

When I speak can you feel them?

They are all I talk about.

Scars from Peru.

Scars from what I have seen.

Scars from what I have smelled.

Scars from the many orphans I have hugged.

Scars that will never leave my mind.

Scars that I will never be able to run from.

These scars cry out for help.

These scars grow deeper with every passing day.

These scars can be looked at as good and bad.

Bad when trying to live the same American lifestyle.

Good when wanting to change the world.

And though I may feel like I have these scars; I have never truly felt the pain that comes from them.



These scars are made beautiful with Jesus.

Scars that I want to live in.

Just For Me.

I am not a perfectly strong amazing Christian.

I am not even more than the average Christian.

I still get homesick even though I know this is home.


I have had days when I feel like I can't go on without seeing my family.

I have had days when I've asked God why me. Why do I have to change the world. 

Then I hear His voice say because there is a real. burning. hell.

Because there are children that don't know what a family is.

Because you chose to pick up your cross and follow Me.

And He reminds me often that He doesn't need me. BUT He wants me.
And that He is going to CHANGE the world and wants me to be apart of it. 

My Child.

What if this was my child?

What if this IS my child?

What if I was chosen to be the mother to this motherless child?


But I chose to sit in my pew.

For the last couple months that I did sit in my pew I always had these thoughts..

 What if I get to heaven and God says "I had a child waiting on you in         , but he grew up alone because you didn't have enough faith to go to him."

Or God says "While you were sitting in Church, 18 orphans were searching for food and I wanted to use you to save them."

Or God says "While you slept in your nice bed, orphans without a home died."

What if I get to heaven and God says "Well done my good and faithful servant, you did EVERYTHING that I asked of you."

I live for this day in heaven. When I stand before the King of Kings and He looks at my life.

I often wonder if He will say "Maisie you gave too much of yourself for My Kingdom. You should have lived the American lifestyle."

I also wonder if I will regret this life changing decision in heaven..

(the answer is NO)

I sometimes dream about that glorious day in  heaven and wonder how many Peruvian children I will be greeted by.


He deserves my EVERYTHING... He has my wants, dreams, cares, LIFE...

Blessed?

I deserved to be born in The United States.
I deserved to be born in a middle class American home.
I deserved to go to a christian school.
I deserved to go to a baptist church.
I deserved to get a car when I was a teen.
I deserved to go on nice vacations.
I deserved to go shopping whenever I wanted.
I deserved to go to college for two years.


I deserve a good husband.
I deserve a big family.
I deserve a nice house.
I deserve to chase after the American dream.
I deserve to sit in the same church pew all my life.
I deserve to grow old comfortably.

I deserved/deserve ALL these things because I was chosen to.
God chose for me to live the American dream.

God chose the African girl to have aids because thats what she deserves.
God chose the Peruvian boy to live without a family because thats what he deserves.
God chose the Asian man to die for his faith because that is what he deserves.
God chose the Chinese mom to give away here baby because she could not feed it because that is what she deserves.


This is how we are living our lives. As though we deserve good and others deserve to live a hopeless nightmare.

Many people right now are probably thinking I AM SO BLESSED. But I wonder what the mom in china is thinking?.

We say we are so blessed to give God the glory for what we have.. But shouldn't we be giving away our blessing to truly give God the glory?

All picture from past trips to Iquitos, Peru

Surrendering and leaving EVRYTHING behind.

I say I have surrendered to His calling...

 But is what I have been doing truly surrendering it all?


Until today I have been counting the days until I get to come home..


Home to MY FAMILY.
Home to MY BED.
Home to MY CAR.
Home to MY LIFE.


BUT then I think of twenty five orphans right up the road that have NOTHING.


NO Family.
NO Home.
NO nice clothes.
NO LIFE beyond the walls of the orphanage.

Pedro. He is 4 and his mother is 14.

I have lived the American life.
I have lived wanting MORE.
I have lived not satisfied.


They live the Peruvian life.
They have nothing and want nothing more.
They live satisfied.




David and I   


 I stand in AWE of their simple lifestyle.


They stand in AWE that I would give up "everything".


BUT they have EVERYTHING I want.


                     
                 Two new Peruvian ways of life:

Grammar class with three different languages.

Spanish, German(i think), and ENGLISH!

Tony the Tiger!!!

God in Peru

Written on: 10/2/11

Yesterday I was looking for God.

I wanted God to reassure my heart about Peru.

While we were at a stoplight, a boy on the side of the road caught my eye.

He stared into my eyes and never looked away.
I could feel his pain and see his loneliness.
I began praying for him and in that moment my heart said this is why you are here.
To love others.
Help the helpless.

Save the unwanted.

 

 

Today I was still searching... Not satisfied with what I felt. I needed more..

After church I met an average Peruvian man.

A man that has an orphanage with 25 children.

Four of the girls(ages 9,10,11,14) are pregnant.
NOT by choice.
Abused. Unwanted. Pregnant.

The children introducing themselves.

 



Today I went to this orphanage.
I was greeted with hugs and "God bless you's"..
Today these orphans gathered us in a circle and prayed for us.
These orphans praying for people that may never return.
That may not care enough for them to change their lives.

 

The "average Peruvian man" is wanting to start another home for children with aids and terminal diseases. Truly the unwanted. The sick. The dying.



I am no longer searching.
I KNOW this is home.
They are my home.

Two Peruvian Experiences:

A VERY pink Peruvian dinner... The rice was good;)

 

my first time going to the market by myself!