PRAY

There are times I find it hard to pray.

I don't know how to start.
I don't know where to start.
I don't know who to start with.

The Lost?
The Dying?
The Hungry?
The Lonely?
The Uncounted?

In Peru?
In the States?
In Africa?
In China?
In the WORLD?

My Family?
My Neighbor?
The girl I sat beside on the bus?
The beggar I gave to on the street?
The child I held in the orphanage?

I pray daily because I still believe that my God answers prayers.

One year

This weekend will mark ONE year since making Peru HOME!

One year ago I walked away from the American dream.
One year ago I felt as though God took away everything I had been living for...
One year ago I would have never guessed I would be standing here today..

I left my room where I had everything for a bed on the floor.

I left my family for children that didn't have a family.

I left college where I was studying to work in a nice school for special needs with MANY resources to help in a small school for special needs children with minimal resources.

I left my church of comfort for a church with dirt floors and people with scars that are unimaginable.. 

I left wanting more and found HE is all I needed..

Peruarbo

Saturday was my first day back at the feeding center/church in Peruarbo. 

As I walked down the dirt streets I felt the sick feeling of the reality of everyday life of the people I have fallen in love with. 

Walking into the church I saw smiling faces and was embraced by many hugs and kisses on the cheek.

I was asked to say something to the church or just talk about my time in the States with my family, but I couldn't.

I had no words.

How could I tell people that had nothing about how in the States I have everything.

How could I talk about my family knowing that there were kids there that didn't have one. 

How could I talk about this BIG, GREAT, LOVING God that I serve when I was questioning His love for these people. 

Saturday I held this little girl during church.
She is four and she lives with her fourteen year old brother.
As I held this motherless child she pulled out a small bottle of fingernail polish and started painting her nails.
A four year old painting her nails because she does not have a mother to do this for her.
A four year old that will live a life that I cannot imagine.

An Orange..

One day at the market as I was eating an orange, a little boy that was about 2 years old came up to me and reached up for the last half of my fruit..

I handed it to him and began to ask him his name...

I silently heard God say "thank you for the fruit, Maisie"..
It wasn't much but it was what HE asked for.. 
It was all that I had in my hands..

As I walked out of the market I thought of how sometimes God doesn't ask for us to give Him much just what we hold in our hands...

I want to give daily to the hungry, dirty, unloved children of Peru.

Seeing me..

As I stood there watching her, wanting to take a picture, I realized she was me.

She was made in God's image.
He has a purpose for her life.
He calls her HIS daughter.

The only difference is where we were born.

She feels the pain of a life that I can't even imagine.
Her dreams are hopeless in her eyes.
She has nothing.

My heart sank as I watched a helpless me begging for change.
I saw people walk by as though they didn't see her. She
reached out her hand to touch their legs as though to
say I am real, I am alive, I need your help.

As she sits on the sidewalk begging strangers for change..
I sit in my room begging OUR God for change....

Living in a country with such need, I often find myself
questioning the God that sent me here..
The God that can feed EVERY hungry person.
The God that can meet EVERY need.
The God that can heal EVERY hurting soul.
The God that is looking at EVERY Church saying you are MY HANDS and MY FEET. 

22 in the third world.

Tuesday I turned 22.


I feel like a completely different person than a year ago when I turned 21.


In this last year....


I read Radical.


I went to Peru again BUT allowed it/HIM to change my life.


I decided I wanted to live in Peru.


I stopped going to college.


I moved over 3000 miles away from home.


I started working with orphans.


I learned(still learning) a new language.


I cried more than ever before.


I missed my taytays birthday.


I depended on God for every need.


I questioned God more than ever before..

I started walking what I had been talking about for years.

Life in the third world..

It has been a month since I have blogged and it seems like life here in the third world has changed in so many GrEat, BiG, God ways. 

School is getting harder but the language is becoming more natural and is seeming to flow. 

GOD introduced me to an amazing couple from the States that have been missionaries to Arequipa, Peru for three years(we met about two months ago). 

Lew and Mariesa Davis

The Davis' have many ministries and have allowed me to jump in and help! One of their ministries is running teams in from the States.  

February 17-25 I was able to work with a team from North Carolina that came to Peru to see lives changed. This team brought close to a thousand reading glasses and made it their mission to help people see not only writing on a page but also the words that had been written on their hearts.

I saw faces light up when they put on their new glasses and could read for the first time in years.

I saw hearts open to the word of God and saw many receive HIS precious gift.
I saw a team of Gringos and a couple Peruvians make memories that will last till heaven.


We held two eye clinics on Saturday in Arequipa.

We held three eye clinics at the coast(Monday in Matarani,Tuesday in Mollendo,Wednesday in Ensenada).

After receiving eyeglasses each person was told about the free gift of salvation.

The last two days we worked at the orphanage building, painting, sowing, and loving.

This past week, I started working at a "Jardin" which is like a Pre-K. This Jardin is non-profit and is held in a church. I am helping the pastor's wife in every way that is needed and practice my Spanish daily. The Jardin is from 8am-1pm and I have classes from 2:40-6pm. I am excited about this new very busy schedule knowing that God will be glorified! 





**A big thank you to Halley for most of these pictures!**

Oblivious

Oblivious to the hungry children around the world.

Oblivious to the children selling themselves on the street for food.

Oblivious to the millions of orphans.

Oblivious to the people dying daily without Christ.

Oblivious that as a Christian I have been called to show God's love.

BUT I don't know that I have ever truly been oblivious to these needs even as a child.

I can remember when I was young people saying "finish your food because there are kids in Africa that won't eat today" or "be grateful for the shoes on your feet because there are some kids that don't have shoes". I remember someone once saying that the commercials on TV that showed poor, hungry, dying children was just a "scam". BUT those children were REAL.

So even at an early age I knew I had more than some people. 

So why did it take three 10 day trips to Peru for me to see that I HAD to do SOMETHING?

It is something I must have always had known.

Kids were hungry as I ate my lunch at school.
REAL kids died as I watched them on my TV.
People entered hell while I was sitting on my church pew.

a MUST.

He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 30:3

When I look inside of me many times I see the 21 year old American girl.

The American that still wants the nice shampoo.

The American that is willing to spend 20 soles on Peanut Butter.

The American that still worries about matching.



Leaving for Peru on September 28th. TWO bags for TWO months...



I see something that is "nasty" by American standards and I turn my nose up.

I see a child with a dirty face and I want to clean the face before holding the child.

I sit with the poor and I pat myself on the back.

I fear steps into dangerous, unclean places.

When I look inside the Bible I see an unrecognizable Man that died.

I see a Man that loved the dirty.

I see a Man that sat with the poor daily.

I see a Man that gave His life for others.

Daily He reminds me that its about HIM.

He reminds me that Peru needs HIM not me.

He humbles me daily by showing me the GREAT need for HIM.

Daily He increases inside of me and I find it harder to see that 21 year old American girl.

CRAZY.

God sent His ONLY son to DIE for ME.


For YOU.
For the African girl dying with aids.
For the Peruvian boy sniffing glue to make the hunger pains go away along with his memories of the past.

He loved ME SO.


He loved YOU.
He loved the pregnant by rape 10 year old Peruvian girl.
He loved the homeless beggared on the streets.


A CRAZY LOVE.

A love that I do not fully understand.
A love that I want to love others with.


I am in Peru to show His CRAZY love to ALL.

To the people in Peru that see a gringo trying to speak their language.

To the people in the States that don't understand why I would go over 3,000 miles from home to share my faith.

To show that my "religion" doesn't just call me to go to church three times a week and shine HIS light by dressing different. 

To show my relationship with Christ goes beyond the comfortable.

Peruarbo 3

                               A Boy.

One week ago today I was in a dry, hot, smelly, dirty place where I was asked to pray over a boy that was about twelve years old.

To pray that he would start obeying his single mother that had three other children.

As I started to pray I had to hold back the tears. Tears of sorrow. Tears of anger. Tears of joy.Tears of fear.

Sorrow because I felt bad for this boy and the life that he had.
Anger because I didn't blame him. He deserved to act out because of what he lives in EVERYDAY.
Joy because he has a future in Christ.
Fear because they were looking to me for answers. For the first time I saw people looking at me as a missionary.

I will be honest I do not consider myself a missionary.
I just feel like a normal 21 year old girl following her Lord.
I don't feel like my prayers are anything big and even sometime feel like they are not heard(even though HE is showing me MANY answered prayers). 

When Peruvians look at me I can see the looks of hope.
Hope that I am going to change their lives.
Hope that I am going to care enough not to leave one day.

Peruarbo 2

                                 The bathroom.

The bathroom that this American didn't want to use.

The American that took these pictures and was thankful that she was able to go home and use a "real" bathroom.

Thankful that she has been given much.

Thankful God didn't choose her to live here.

I was truly thankful because I don't know if I would have their smiles.

I don't think I would see this world as fair and I'm sure I would question His love.

But its NOT me.

Its them.

But they are the same as me in God's eyes.

So why them and not me?

What is this American that has been called TOLD to go love others in His name doing about it? 

The American that has come to save the poor, hungry, dying of Peru.

THIS American that has been given MUCH and that God requires MUCH from.

Peruarbo

Saturday I walked down dirt roads.
Saturday I held kids with dirty faces.

Saturday I praised MY Lord in a whole new way.

I wasn't sitting on a nice church pew or dressed in my best clothes.


I was in a church with dirt floors and no roof.

I was in the "worst" clothes I had.

I was able to help feed 40 children bread and boiled potatoes. 

My heart broke knowing that this could be the only meal they would eat today.  

But then we started singing praises to OUR God and learning Bible verses.

God showed me that they are not the less fortunate.

They are not the ones that have nothing.

In His eyes they are not just the least of these.

They are blessed.

They are fortunate.

They have it ALL.

They have HIM! 

walking away

Walking away one step at a time.

Away from what is comfortable.
Away from what is easy.
Away from all I have known.
Away from every dream.
Away from my family.

As I said goodbye to my family today I could not hold back the tears.

Every hug got harder.
Every tear came faster.

Walking away felt right, but it didn't take the pain away.
I was hurting, searching, knowing God was ALL I had.
HE was who I needed to walk me through the next hard, painful steps.

And in that moment God showed me the past 21 years of my life and I heard Him say,"To whom much is given much is required. Maisie I have given you MUCH and I require MUCH." God often has to put my focus on heaven, knowing I will be with my family forever and with the children He has broken my heart over.  

SO...

I will keep walking.
I will fight the tears.
I will not stop and sit down.

I will show others HIS CrAzY love through every smile, hug, tearful prayer, hand raised high, and each step in faith.