a MUST.

He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 30:3

When I look inside of me many times I see the 21 year old American girl.

The American that still wants the nice shampoo.

The American that is willing to spend 20 soles on Peanut Butter.

The American that still worries about matching.



Leaving for Peru on September 28th. TWO bags for TWO months...



I see something that is "nasty" by American standards and I turn my nose up.

I see a child with a dirty face and I want to clean the face before holding the child.

I sit with the poor and I pat myself on the back.

I fear steps into dangerous, unclean places.

When I look inside the Bible I see an unrecognizable Man that died.

I see a Man that loved the dirty.

I see a Man that sat with the poor daily.

I see a Man that gave His life for others.

Daily He reminds me that its about HIM.

He reminds me that Peru needs HIM not me.

He humbles me daily by showing me the GREAT need for HIM.

Daily He increases inside of me and I find it harder to see that 21 year old American girl.

CRAZY.

God sent His ONLY son to DIE for ME.


For YOU.
For the African girl dying with aids.
For the Peruvian boy sniffing glue to make the hunger pains go away along with his memories of the past.

He loved ME SO.


He loved YOU.
He loved the pregnant by rape 10 year old Peruvian girl.
He loved the homeless beggared on the streets.


A CRAZY LOVE.

A love that I do not fully understand.
A love that I want to love others with.


I am in Peru to show His CRAZY love to ALL.

To the people in Peru that see a gringo trying to speak their language.

To the people in the States that don't understand why I would go over 3,000 miles from home to share my faith.

To show that my "religion" doesn't just call me to go to church three times a week and shine HIS light by dressing different. 

To show my relationship with Christ goes beyond the comfortable.

Peruarbo 3

                               A Boy.

One week ago today I was in a dry, hot, smelly, dirty place where I was asked to pray over a boy that was about twelve years old.

To pray that he would start obeying his single mother that had three other children.

As I started to pray I had to hold back the tears. Tears of sorrow. Tears of anger. Tears of joy.Tears of fear.

Sorrow because I felt bad for this boy and the life that he had.
Anger because I didn't blame him. He deserved to act out because of what he lives in EVERYDAY.
Joy because he has a future in Christ.
Fear because they were looking to me for answers. For the first time I saw people looking at me as a missionary.

I will be honest I do not consider myself a missionary.
I just feel like a normal 21 year old girl following her Lord.
I don't feel like my prayers are anything big and even sometime feel like they are not heard(even though HE is showing me MANY answered prayers). 

When Peruvians look at me I can see the looks of hope.
Hope that I am going to change their lives.
Hope that I am going to care enough not to leave one day.

Peruarbo 2

                                 The bathroom.

The bathroom that this American didn't want to use.

The American that took these pictures and was thankful that she was able to go home and use a "real" bathroom.

Thankful that she has been given much.

Thankful God didn't choose her to live here.

I was truly thankful because I don't know if I would have their smiles.

I don't think I would see this world as fair and I'm sure I would question His love.

But its NOT me.

Its them.

But they are the same as me in God's eyes.

So why them and not me?

What is this American that has been called TOLD to go love others in His name doing about it? 

The American that has come to save the poor, hungry, dying of Peru.

THIS American that has been given MUCH and that God requires MUCH from.

Peruarbo

Saturday I walked down dirt roads.
Saturday I held kids with dirty faces.

Saturday I praised MY Lord in a whole new way.

I wasn't sitting on a nice church pew or dressed in my best clothes.


I was in a church with dirt floors and no roof.

I was in the "worst" clothes I had.

I was able to help feed 40 children bread and boiled potatoes. 

My heart broke knowing that this could be the only meal they would eat today.  

But then we started singing praises to OUR God and learning Bible verses.

God showed me that they are not the less fortunate.

They are not the ones that have nothing.

In His eyes they are not just the least of these.

They are blessed.

They are fortunate.

They have it ALL.

They have HIM! 

walking away

Walking away one step at a time.

Away from what is comfortable.
Away from what is easy.
Away from all I have known.
Away from every dream.
Away from my family.

As I said goodbye to my family today I could not hold back the tears.

Every hug got harder.
Every tear came faster.

Walking away felt right, but it didn't take the pain away.
I was hurting, searching, knowing God was ALL I had.
HE was who I needed to walk me through the next hard, painful steps.

And in that moment God showed me the past 21 years of my life and I heard Him say,"To whom much is given much is required. Maisie I have given you MUCH and I require MUCH." God often has to put my focus on heaven, knowing I will be with my family forever and with the children He has broken my heart over.  

SO...

I will keep walking.
I will fight the tears.
I will not stop and sit down.

I will show others HIS CrAzY love through every smile, hug, tearful prayer, hand raised high, and each step in faith.