Will they understand?

I only have one more night until I get to live the American lifestyle for six weeks.

"Will they understand?" is the question that keeps running through my head...

Will they understand what I have seen?
Will they understand what I have heard?
Will they feel the pain that I do?
Will they just smile and say I am glad God "called" you.


Will the orphans understand why I am not there Saturday?
Will they understand that I love them more than the American dream?
Will they remember my name when I return?

I am scared that I cannot live the American life for a month.

I am scared I cannot sit in that same church pew as if nothing has changed.

I am scared my bed won't be so comfortable.

I am scared that it won't feel like home anymore.

Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving is not about the food or the people I am with. But about where I am.


I am in a third world country that is sometimes hard to be thankful in.

Today I rode home with my grammar teacher and her family.

As we were stopped at a light I saw a mother and her three children.

Each child was going to different cars begging for money. The children looked to be three, four and six years old.

In that moment I prayed the light would change and they wouldn't come to my door.

In that moment I was mad that what ONE American will eat today could feed this hungry family.

What ONE American family spent on food for today could feed this family for months.

BUT it's not an American family's fault that these kids are still on the street begging. IT IS MINE.

I am the American in Peru. I am the American that God chose to send three thousand miles away from her family.

I am the American that had soup for lunch, rice for dinner and SATISFIED.

I am the twenty-one year old American girl that has peace knowing I am in the Lord's will. 

a talk.

Today I prayed with my eyes opened.


Today I took a walk with God.


I walked and talked with Him.


I walked down streets that smelled.


I walked past people that had nothing.


Talking to Him about this place called Arequipa, Peru.


Talking to Him about His children in the orphanage.


Talking to Him about what I can do.


I didn't hear any answers on our walk, but I know He was there.


I know He walked with me.


I know He can use me. 

I walked in the most beautiful place I have ever been.

Understanding.

I wish I didn't understand the cry for help tonight.

The cry from a little boy that looked at me and said "please, I'm poor."

I wish I could have said "no thank you" because I didn't understand and sleep tonight.

But I understood each word.

He was looking to me to save him.

But tomorrow he will be on the same street begging.

There are nights I lay in bed and wish I didn't know about the 147 million orphans.

I wish I had never held the hand of the fatherless.

I wish I could forget the little boy's cry for help.

I wish I could sleep in my bed, drive my car and be with my family.

But I have decided to pick up my cross and live out the Bible. So I want this verse to be how I live my everyday..

Proverbs 31:20
   She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Thankful.

I am thankful for the poor.

I am thankful for the dirty.

I am thankful for the hurting.

I am thankful for the hungry.

I am thankful for the beggar.
I am thankful for the unwanted.

I am thankful for the father/motherless.

I am thankful for the 147 MILLION ORPHANS.

I am thankful for a simple third world country called Peru.

Matthews25:35,36,40

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

...Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.


I am thankful that I can serve MY Jesus by serving "the least of these" daily.

I am thankful that when I am loving the unwanted I am loving HIM.

             
              This song goes so well with this post...

I am thankful that I saw there was more then the American dream.